Notes from “To Sell is Human” by Daniel Pink

Attunement

• Power makes you less able to empathize.
• It’s better to think about what your negotiating partner is thinking rather than feeling.
• Ask people you meet “Where are you from?” It’s an open ended question that allows them to talk about anything.
• Practice strategic mimicry:
  • Watch – observe the way the other person is sitting: arms, legs, etc.
  • Wait – once you observe, wait.  Delay each act of mimicry by at least 15 seconds. Repeat words verbatim.
  • Wane – after mimicking a little, be less conscious
• Group exercise: gather three or four people and ask: “What do we have in common that’s not obvious, either with another person or with everyone?  For example, does everyone have a younger brother, visited Disneyland in the last year, or love soccer.”

Buoyancy

• Rather than telling yourself you will succeed, ask yourself whether you can succeed: “Can I move these people?”
• Write five specific reasons why the answer is yes.
• When something bad happens, ask the following questions. The more you think of issues as temporary, specific and external, the more you will persist.
  • Is this permanent? “No, it was just bad today because I didn’t sleep enough.”
  • Is this pervasive?  “No, it was just this guy.  Maybe he’s having a bad day.”
  • Is this personal? “No, he just wasn’t ready yet.”
• What are the consequences of this outcome?  Why are they not as bad as they seem?

Clarity

• Make sure you have found the right problem before you try to solve it.
• We understand something better when we compare it to something else.  Look for contrast and ask “Compared to what?”
• Framing choices in a way that restricts their options allows them to see with greater clarity.
• Frame what you are selling in terms of experience instead of material.
• Telling children that they were the neatest in the school made them neater.  Labeling people positively, as what they want to be, makes them more like that.
• When people are not evaluating carefully, first present all the positives of your choice then present a mild negative.  This is better than presenting no negatives at all.
• People find potential more interesting than accomplishment because it is uncertain. That leads people to evaluate more thoughtfully.  Emphasize the promise of tomorrow over the accomplishment of the past.
• When people have been told how to think about something, provide specific instructions on how to carry it out.
• Kanter’s content curation primer
• Rather than saying “You need to study,” ask two questions:
  • “On a scale from 1 to 10, how ready are you to study?  1 being not ready at all and 10 being totally ready.”
  • “Why didn’t you give a lower number?”
• Question Formulation Technique
  • Brainstorm as many questions as possible
  • Categorize each as open or closed
  • Prioritize the three most important
  • Edit them so they are ultra-clear

Pitches

• Elevator pitch alternatives
  • One word – makes easier to remember.  Write fifty words.  Reduce to 25.  Reduce to 6.  Reduce to 1.
  • Question: help people come up with their own reasons for supporting you, eg “Are you better off now than four years ago?”
  • Rhyming – makes what your claim more credible.  Rhymezone.com
  • Twitter – limit to 120 characters
  • Pixar  – “Once upon a time ___.  Every day, ___.  One day ___.  Because of that ___.  Because of that ___.  Until finally ___.”  Emma Coat’s story rules.
• Other pitch thoughts
  • After someone hears your pitch ask:
    • What do you want them to know?
    • What do you want them to feel?
    • What do you want them to do?
  • Add a visual
  • Pecha-kucha – twenty power point slides, each shown for 20 seconds
  • Go first if you’re the incumbent, go last if you’re new
  • Granular numbers are more believable than rounded numbers