Wise Generosity

I have a problem with buying gifts for people: it’s nearly impossible to do rationally.  For example, if you buy your wife a bottle of perfume, what’s to say she wouldn’t have enjoyed a nice dinner out even more at a lower cost?  What if your coworker would enjoy a new desk fan during the summer more than a box of expensive chocolates? In either case, wouldn’t just giving them the money would result in greater total happiness? Waste is occurring here and I don’t like to waste.

One of the worst kinds of generosity is this: Couple A buys a $20 gift card for Couple B on their wedding anniversary.  Couple B really would have preferred a different store but the gesture was still nice.  Now when Couple A’s wedding anniversary rolls around, Couple B buys them another $20 gift card for a different store that’s not really their favorite either.  This is a very wasteful reciprocity that does no good to either couple.

Is it possible to give rational gifts?  Yes.  Giving is rational if the person getting the gift is benefited more than the person giving loses.

• If the recipient is too stingy (irrationally so) with his/her self, then they would benefit significantly from a gift of a luxury item more than money.
• If the recipient is a wastrel with their own assets, putting their wants ahead of their needs, then giving them a necessity would be valuable, such as paying their electric bill for the month.
• If the giver is wealthier than the recipient, then a dollar for the recipient may be worth considerably more than a dollar for the giver.
• If the gift isn’t something purchased (or purchasable) that has more value to the recipient.  For example, a person with lots of trees on their lot might give firewood to their neighbor.  Or cousin Emma gave you the lamp that granny left her because she knew that you loved it more.

This having been said, perhaps looking at economic losses from gift giving is too robotic.  Maybe it isn’t the best way to look at the matter.   Gifts serve as a social lubricant.  Just making a statement “I care about you” and backing it up with money is more valuable than any economic loss.